“Sorry bro, this is really not a good time”

Something I wish I could tell (or yell at) my lungs right now.

For about one and a half weeks I’ve been doing a terrific job at imitating a dying seal and coughing without much of a break 24/7. It started off quite harmless with something I mistook for either the flu or allergies, but whatever it was, it left my lungs weak enough to have them end up in this mess. My mother wakes up a couple of times a night to help me get rid of the phlegm, and I can’t sit through a single lecture without causing noise disturbance for my fellow students approximately every 3 minutes or so. At times I’m so short of breath that my head feels kind of fuzzy, and overall I notice other signs too that my lungs are doing a shitty job at being lungs at the moment.

During the last couple of days this feeling of uneasiness has been creeping up on me. But only tonight after a doctor at my physiotherapy session listened to my lungs and expressed her concern I’ve decided to allow myself to feel slightly defeated and so I’ll be making a doctor’s appointment first thing tomorrow.

But here’s the thing; I really really really can’t afford to fall ill right now. I’ve been making such progress with studying and catching up on uni and this has brought not only pride but also hope for finishing this semester semi-okay, I have about one zillion deadlines and exams approaching, and last but certainly not least I’m attending this phenomenal rock festival called Rock Am Ring coming weekend. I’ve been rigorously prepping and counting the days to seeing Foo Fighters, Muse, Thirty Seconds To Mars, Alt-J and Gorillaz amongst amazing others live for so long that I’ll even be willing to attend it from the comfort of a camping bed and attached to an oxygen tank. After the 16th of July, when I’m officially done with my first year of university and may enjoy summer break, I might allow my body 1-3 business days of being ill. But not now. No way.

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