There are several things, varying in size, going on and going wrong in my life lately. I feel like sharing two: my education and my health. Sadly I’m starting to realise that I should really treat the two as if they were linked; a skill I’m blissfully terrible at.
During the last bit of my first year at the university I kept running into walls with the Examination Committee regarding my deficit of points to be allowed to pass and continue with my second year. They kept saying that they understood, that “my situation” was clear, that they’d most probably be able to take it into consideration and have mercy on me, but they never really gave me any certainty. This led to me stressing like hell and trying my very best to magically make the necessary amount of points appear out of thin air (and hard work).
Then my health began to forsake me and my lungs started playing up. I ended up sitting in lecture halls barely able to breathe and coughing so much that even professors started eyeing me, wondering if they were required to take action. But I just couldn’t afford to miss any lectures or fail my classes, because I was too invested in my studies and I refused to get kicked out of a place I slowly started to feel so much at home at. Surprise surprise; my pneumonia was deteriorating.
Obviously, because my name is fucking Lily, I didn’t particularly take it easy apart from uni either. I had plans and I refused to let my shitty health and lungs keep me from enjoying them.
This nice little cocktail plus some personal stress factors that played up really did a number on me, I can now so say while looking back on it. When I’m living in the moment, right at the heart of the storm so to say, I can never properly admit if and possible how bad things are. That’s something I can only really do after I’ve passed through that moment of bad weather. Now the skies have cleared up considerably; with my health being fine (or it’s usual semi-shitty state) again and me enjoying two months of well deserved summer break before diving headfirst back in.
So my dear friends be prepared: she’s back :-)